
Flat on its face, that is. Here’s an email that crossed my Inbox today (albeit briefly because I immediately trashed it). I’ve decided to give it airtime here, with [my comments] because it’s so ridiculous that it’s funny. At the same time, I’m worried that there are people like this working in large agencies that charge a premium to market their brands. Names have been changed or “XXX’ed” to prevent this dude from getting fired:
From: XXX
Sent: Monday, 26 October, 2009 8:01 PM
To: XXX [yes, it was addressed to himself so I know there are a gazillion people on BCC]
Subject: Screaming Hello My Biography [I don't care about your bio, especially when you scream it]
Hi There, [my name is not "There"]
Hope this finds you well.
It’s been a long while since we last met. [I'm not sure I even met you]
A brief history on what’s been happening in my life. [Errr...I don't care]
I’ve been away in Dubai 4 years ago and only came back to join Agency ABC in 2007. [Big fat hairy deal]
It was a good experience mostly ["mostly" meaning there was some shit and that's why you left], Agency XYZ in Dubai treated me well and I’ve gained much knowledge and experience. The kind of experience that builds one in character and of course allowing one to grasp Strategic Planning, Campaign Management facts which in turn creates a natural appreciation to Advertising and Creative Services. [Fluff fluff fluff that only shows me you only know how to regurgitate buzzwords]
Working with Agency ABC Singapore in 2007 on the Big Bank Account was just as good. People were great fun, atmosphere was filled with Creative juices, both literally and hypothetically [how do you hypothetically fill the atmosphere with Creative juices?!]. I then moved to a Local Design Firm thereafter to attain Business Development, Art Direction, Copy Writing and expand on what I know of Strategies. [I'm speechless at this point, although I'm curious to know how I can attain Copy Writing]
Today, I have with me a couple of very talented individuals, who have taken pretty much the same route in lifes journey to join me on my quest to grow our agency and keep people screaming. [Screaming in horror probably]
Little impressions [as in "sinsignificant"?] of my past has helped structure this little agency. Bricks of Fun from Agency ABC, foundation of Art Direction and Strategies fills the air we breathe here. Creative Juice is drunk everyday and put into the works we do.
Today, I’d like to share with you what My Agency has.
Apart from quirky exciting people, we do serious work. (Please request for our Creative Portfolio and and we’ll gladly send one across.)
In the meantime, I will like to have coffee to catch up on those good old days. If you’re still wondering who this is, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that cup of coffee that rekindles and refreshes our relationship.
How does 2nd Nov sound? I’ll share more with you then.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
XXX
Mobile: XXXX XXXX
XXX-URL.com [that goes to an ugly, bog-standard "under construction" holding page. What a winning way to end your sell there dude]